Practicing Forgiveness and Compassion With Yourself

By Manny Goldman (Source: http://www.selfgrowth.com)

Moving on from past hurts and practicing forgiveness is extremely important for our growth and well-being. But what we don’t often talk about, however, is the importance of cultivating compassion and forgiveness for ourselves.

Depending on the severity of the situation, we are usually far more open to moving past transgressions that have occurred with those closest to us then we are to not blaming ourselves for things that haven’t worked out in our lives. We hold ourselves to impossible standards without realizing how little is actually in our own control.

In addition, most of us spend a great deal of time judging ourselves and the “mistakes” we have made. Sometimes this takes the form of judging those around us – but in truth, any opinion we formulate of anyone else stems from our own beliefs about ourselves. These can be detrimental to our psyche and can wreak havoc on our self esteem.

So how can you cultivate compassion and practice forgiveness with yourself?

Recognize What’s In Your Power…And What Isn’t

If you aren’t open to life taking form in a way that you hadn’t expected, then it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that “things aren’t suppose to be this way.” In truth, every situation and every thing you experience is temporary – and important to your growth process. So stop the blame game. You don’t always have control of the route your life will take and sometimes things work out far better than you ever could have imagined.

Ask Yourself: Would I Say This About My Best Friend?

Some of the negative self-talk we partake in on a daily basis is so downright mean we would never consider saying the same thing to our best friend. When you notice yourself doing this, stop. Take a breath. Replace that thought with something else, even if it is completely unrelated. Whatever you do, don’t let it become a habit.

Routinely Forgive Yourself

Make it a practice to forgive yourself for all of the things you are currently blaming yourself for- even if you’re guilty of them. There’s no need to hold a grudge against yourself – in fact, it’s completely unproductive. Write them down or say them out loud, just let them out.

Treat Yourself With Care

If things don’t seem to be going your way, it helps to remember the love and compassion you may have received as a child – whether it was from a parent, grandparent, or teacher. If they were a positive place to fall then they didn’t berate you or tell you that you just weren’t good enough – they made you feel as if it was only a matter of time before things would start looking up again. Practice this same level of understanding and compassion with yourself.

Moving forward in a positive direction requires that you be kind to yourself and allow life to unfold in the way that it’s meant to. I promise that you’ll recognize a profound difference in your actions and the amount of success you’re able to achieve.